Yes... it's come to this... I've decided to stop criticizing on all those vegan bloggers proclaiming healthy views but still shilling unhealthy vegan products or recipes and giveaway contests, to join the Gravy Train (think "Pink Floyd" and "Have a Cigar")... as such, my first giveaway contest. After all, do you really think electrons are free?
Here's a photo of the mysterious vegetable:
Now, all you have to do is figure out what vegetable it is. WHAT could be simpler? (Click on image for larger image if you are confused)
Soooo, what will you win if you are chosen in the drawing of accurate answerererers? A FREE packet of "Mama Mark's" Instant Aqua Water! An amazing product, with no fat, no salt, no sugar, no fiber, and lots of nutrition (t's kosher, yet gluten and trans-fat free, and will help you replace sweat!!). Based on the same stuff recently found on Mars and the Moon by SCIENTISTS using TECHNOLOGY.
Think of it! All you need to do is simply "add water" to this gourmet secret mixture of a thousand no spices and you'll get the bonus of two hydrogen atoms for every oxygen! It's VEEGUN... so it must be happy, healthy, and good! It's scientifically proven that this special water is so so so so so good for you that you must have it, you must have it, you must have it. Yummy! Can't go three days without it. The taste is amazing, and the health benefits are so frickin' numerous and obvious we don't bother to write them up. It's the "anti-antioxidant!" It's ENERGIZING! It's Coconut Water without the Coconut which means you get MORE water! Wow.... so happy and healthy!
Instant Vegan "Di-hydrogen oxide..." And folks, it's organic (and free trade). You can drink it, you can pour it on your head, you can pour it on other parts of your body, hell, you can pour it on just about anything that needs pourage! So come on Internet Tube-ites, let's get those guesses a flowing! First 10,000 responders get a free recipe USING Mama Mark's Instant Aqua Water (note: PDF format).
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Mama Mark's Instant Aqua Water might cause immediate hydration, periodic bladder flushing, a heightened sense of non-de-hydration, an intense wetness, profound watery-like feeling, and spots on some fabrics. Use with caution, do not operate heavy equipment while consuming, add alcohol at your discretion, use a drip-free glass, don't use on Gremlins, cats might get pissed, keyboard Pepsi Syndrome may occur, and always, always, take with tongue-in-cheek (above the neck). Offer void where people are rational.
CONTEST RULES: you must be able to breathe without moving your lips, live on Planet Earth, are primarily carbon-based, believe in vegan food product reviews without nutritional analysis of same, and waste hours responding to contests like this. Spelling counts, you pay for postage and any residual psychiatric counseling. Scorpios with Venus ascendent need not apply.
DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS: about 1 second before this is posted.