SoulVeggie

Video Clip: "We Did It! Artificial Meat!"

A very funny 3 minute Clip from The Daily Show where Jon Stewart, ahem, "skewers" the concept of artificial meat. In this case, pig meat from pig stem cells.  Video expires 01/03/10 and has a rather abrupt ending.  Enjoy!  Mark

10 Non-edible Unique Uses for Vegenaise!

Sometimes another vegan blogger can inspire you to greater heights of creativity and awareness.  Kat's astounding "50 ways to use Vegenaise:" certainly had an impact on my thinking about the marvelous primarily canola oil-based non-food product:

http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2009/11/fifty-yummy-uses-for-vegenaise-spread.html

Although I blogged about this already (here), I've come to realize that Kathy missed many NON-edible uses of Vegenaise.  It's such a versatile substance, that I'm proud to offer 10 other uses for Vegenaise (and I won't even claim they are "uber-creative" as Kat does):

1) LIP GLOSS:  schmooze Vegenaise on your lips and you'll excite any significant other with the refractory look.  When bored, you can the tongue it all into your mouth for a tasty treat.

2) SQUEAKY JOINTS;  got a hinge that squeaks?  Slather a little Vegenaise into the hinge and you'll be moving that door silently in no time.

3) SWIMMING:  wanna reduce drag from that swimmer's cap?  Cover it with Vegenaise.   If you wanna go pro, cover your entire body with Vegenaise and you'll be able to swim faster.

4) FURNITURE:  unsightly dry wood?  Rub a good smear of Vegenaise into the furniture wood to bring back that healthy shine.

5) GREASE & PAINT:  add a little sugar to Vegenaise and use to remove grease and paint from your hands.

6) GARDENING:  rub Vegenaise on your gardening shovel, spade, fork, etc., to reduce rust possibilities.  CAUTION:  do NOT lick said equipment afterwards due to possible e.coli and other pathogens infection.

7) SHAVING:  slather Vegenaise on your face (or legs, feet, or pits) for a "great tasting" alternative to shaving cream and get rid of that natural abnormal hair.

8) HAIR CONDITIONING:  smear Vegenaise into your hair, massage liberally, and rinse... bring back that normal sheen that was always there to begin with.

9) LEATHER RESTORER:  got an old pitcher's mitt that's a bit dry?  Massage a batch of Vegenaise into that mitt and return it to it's former catching glory.

10) ACNE:  mix some salt into Vegenaise and apply to affected skin areas.  Get rid of those zits!

Isn't it wonderful?  How many healthy food products can also do so many non-food related things?  And at 9 grams of fat per tablespoon, it's a real bargin.  There aren't any fruits, vegetables, legumes, and grains as versatile as Vegenaise!

Seriously, Vegenaise, despite taste and texture, is FAT.  Mostly canola oil.  Stop adding FAT to your diet and you'll be healthier.  Rid yourself of your taste addiction.  FAT is not a food... although in a pinch, the hinge thing is really useful....

NOTE:  some of the above suggestions come from (here) with playful editing.

Video: How to Make Your Own Swine Flu Vaccine!

This hilarious video shows how you can make your own Swine Flu Vaccine.  Although quite satirical, there's enough truth in the matter (see the source of video, which lists/discusses actual ingredients) to make it all very interesting.  Of course the vaccine is not vegan... and I wonder how many people would want to know that egg white and mercury derivatives are part of what's being injected into your arm or snorted with the vaccine nasal spray?  Not surprising that the ingredients of the vaccine are not emphasized by most media coverage.

Video: "Don't Have a Cow, Mankind."

Amusing sub-60 second clip from The Simpsons about Krusty's new "Burger Squared," admittedly a crime against nature.  Ironically, it's what people who eat hamburgers from fast food restaurants are currently consuming. The "Mad Cow" Special...  Enjoy!  (Note:  what's Howard Lyman's relationship to the Simpsons?  He was invited to speak to the writers and as a result, Lisa became vegetarian! Here's what he had to say about it all (from a previous post))

Placebo Effect (video excerpt from The Colbert Report)

Not directly related to veganism and diet or nutrition, but hilarious nonetheless (esp. the last few minutes about sugar oin this sub-7 minute video excerpt... I don't know how long it will be available (probably through the season)).  Enjoy!

Identify this Vegetable and Win Something!!!

Yes... it's come to this...  I've decided to stop criticizing on all those vegan bloggers proclaiming healthy views but still shilling unhealthy vegan products or recipes and giveaway contests, to join the Gravy Train (think "Pink Floyd" and "Have a Cigar")... as such, my first giveaway contest.  After all, do you really think electrons are free?

Here's a photo of the mysterious vegetable:

Now, all you have to do is figure out what vegetable it is.  WHAT could be simpler?  (Click on image for larger image if you are confused)

Soooo, what will you win if you are chosen in the drawing of accurate answerererers?  A FREE packet of "Mama Mark's" Instant Aqua Water! An amazing product, with no fat, no salt, no sugar, no fiber, and lots of nutrition (t's kosher, yet gluten and trans-fat free, and will help you replace sweat!!).  Based on the same stuff recently found on Mars and the Moon by SCIENTISTS using TECHNOLOGY.

Think of it!  All you need to do is simply "add water" to this gourmet secret mixture of a thousand no spices and you'll get the bonus of two hydrogen atoms for every oxygen!  It's VEEGUN... so it must be happy, healthy, and good!  It's scientifically proven that this special water is so so so so so good for you that you must have it, you must have it, you must have it.  Yummy!  Can't go three days without it.  The taste is amazing, and the health benefits are so frickin' numerous and obvious we don't bother to write them up.  It's the "anti-antioxidant!"  It's ENERGIZING!  It's Coconut Water without the Coconut which means you get MORE water!  Wow.... so happy and healthy!

Instant Vegan "Di-hydrogen oxide..."  And folks, it's organic (and free trade). You can drink it, you can pour it on your head, you can pour it on other parts of your body, hell, you can pour it on just about anything that needs pourage!  So come on Internet Tube-ites,  let's get those guesses a flowing!  First 10,000 responders get a free recipe USING Mama Mark's Instant Aqua Water (note: PDF format).

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  Mama Mark's Instant Aqua Water might cause immediate hydration, periodic bladder flushing, a heightened sense of non-de-hydration, an intense wetness, profound watery-like feeling, and spots on some fabrics.  Use with caution, do not operate heavy equipment while consuming, add alcohol at your discretion, use a drip-free glass, don't use on Gremlins, cats might get pissed, keyboard Pepsi Syndrome may occur, and always, always, take with tongue-in-cheek (above the neck).  Offer void where people are rational.

CONTEST RULES:  you must be able to breathe without moving your lips, live on Planet Earth, are primarily carbon-based, believe in vegan food product reviews without nutritional analysis of same, and waste hours responding to contests like this.  Spelling counts, you pay for postage and any residual psychiatric counseling.  Scorpios with Venus ascendent need not apply.

DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS:  about 1 second before this is posted.

PETA Video: Jiminy Glick Interviews Ronald McDonald

Jiminy Glick Interviews 'Ronald McDonald'

Bonus Footage of Glick and McDonald.

Videos: "Eat It" and "Fat"

"Eat It" (non-embeddable video is HERE)


"Fat" (non-embeddable is HERE)

Heart Attack Grill Diet Center

The Video
The Home Page
FAQ

Investment Opportunities

"...The Heart Attack Grill is a hospital themed restaurant in Chandler Arizona, which has become internationally famous for embracing and promoting an unhealthy diet of incredibly large hamburgers. Customers are referred to as "patients," orders as "prescriptions," and the waitresses as "nurses.  The menu includes the Single Bypass Burger, Double Bypass Burger, Triple Bypass Burger, and the Quadruple Bypass Burger, ranging from half a pound to two pounds of beef. Also on the menu are "Flatliner Fries" (cooked in pure lard), no filter cigarettes, hard liquor, beer, and full sugar coke..."

Bush Surveys Presidency Damage

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

[Yeah, nothing to do with being a vegan, or diet, nutrition, etc., but just too good a satire (or is it?) not to post and let people spread it around.  Fellow Bush survivor, Mark]