SoulVeggie

Book Review: "Off the Reservation" or "Hail to the Vegan President?"

Give or take a few wks., I've been vegan for 14 yrs. last month, and 20 yrs. vegetarian before that.  It started out as a spiritual/physical health "experiment," and evolved to incorporate environmental and animal rights issues.

For many, being vegan is a lifestyle choice, and not just a diet that omits meat, dairy, eggs, and honey (etc.).  For them it is an all-encompassing philosophy of how one live their life, relates to other living entities, and respects our common local and global environment. 

For those of us who've gone down this path, it hasn't always been easy.  In my earlier years, harassment or ridicule was often the case.  So-called nutritional authorities, food corporations, and even our government, seemed to co-conspire to make our lives as vegans a living hell of having to defend ourselves at every turn and go hungry at restaurants.

I can't imagine there isn't a self-professed vegan living who hasn't at one time or another, wondered what it would be like if the President of the United States (or an individual running for that office), was a true vegan.  How many of us were impressed, maybe even thrilled, when vegan Congressman Dennis Kucinich threw his hat into the Presidential race?  How many of us hoped that the values he expressed as a vegan would translate into better and more rational governmental policies?   

Even though he's not President, how many of us take pride in Bill Clinton has been trying hard to maintain a vegan diet?  How many of us didn't ponder on how the media and general population would respond to a philosophical approach and lifestyle so diametrically opposed to the average in this country?

The very talented author Glen Merzer has addressed these issues, and done so with creative flair, acute insight, and small measures of whimsy and wit scattered throughout.  His new novel, "Off the Reservation," could have been full of stereotypes, predictable confrontations, and a godawful lot of preaching.

Instead, he's accomplished a masterful feat of presenting a touching, moving, thought-provoking and intriguing story of the first vegan to win his party's Presidential nomination and the consequences before and after this unusual feat.  Glen wisely avoids the direct issue of diet until well into the story.  I write "wisely," as at first I was puzzled as to "why?"

Upon more reflection, I realized it was, in part I believe, because a person's diet shouldn't be an issue (something any vegan can fully relate to).  His political philosophies and rational reactions to political chaos and the governing of this country ARE the issues that are important.  In this day and age of a 24/7 news cycle and faster-than-light social media, the focus is often on the ephemeral and superficial, which is alluded to throughout the campaign.

It's a smart and subtle approach to the lead character, Evan Gorgoni.  A reader learns more about the man from his speeches, interviews, private introspections, and approach to running for office (originally deciding to not run for Congress again and go back to teaching), then realizing that he had deeper responsibilities and potentialities.  We learn much more about the man by the context of his life than a quick stereotype related to what he does and doesn't eat: 

"Congressman Gorgoni, why haven't you been open with the American people about your dietary inclinations?"

"I never imagined it was relevant.  If I get elected, I thought they'd be playing Hail to the Chief, not Hail to the Chef." (p. 158) 

A smart read, Glen's done his homework on parsing out the true solutions to the REAL problems besetting this country (and indeed, the world in general).  Simple answers to complex issues as posed in one debate denote an almost zen-like ability to break difficult issues into easy to, well, swallow solutions.  Throughout this book Evan remains steadfastly true to his internal integrity, despite intense differences of opinion with some of his closest friends, advisors, and family.

I don't want to be a spoiler to anyone not having read this marvelous novel.  However, it wouldn't spoil any surprises to note that one of the climaxes to this odessy is aptly entitled "The Speech."  Here are a few selected passages from Gorgoni's nomination acceptance speech (given off the cuff without a teleprompter).  It is awesome in scope, depth, and vision.  I urge Glen to release it as a standalone for printed and social media.  I'm only barely scratching the surface of this seriously amazing tome with the following excerpts: 

"...Folks, the time has long since come to declare an end to the age of ideology.  It is, quite frankly, a nuisance.  Let us stop thinking of ourselves as liberals or conservatives, Democrats or Republicans, hawks or doves, Keynesians or supply-siders, cat people or dog people, right-brained or left-brained, and let us remind ourselves that we are all human beings standing on a planet that is spinning on its axis and revolves around the sun.  Spinning and revolving.  Think of that.  It will be hard for many in Washington to understand this, but it is possible to do two things at once..." (p. 115)

 "...President Clinton famously said, 'it's the economy, stupid.'  I say, it's the food, stupid.  We need to eat healthier foods, and stop being the sickest, fattest population ever to walk the face of the earth.  Of course our health costs continue to skyrocket on a diet so extraordinarily rich, so dangerously high in fat, so preposterously high in sugars, and so tragically low in nutrients.  We can't go on eating the same lousy food and imagine that we will be saved by drugs and interventions.  That again is an arrogant fantasy. The elegant solution is always the the simplest one.  Eat healthy food..." (p. 117)

"...Our government has been in the business for generations now of subsidizin precisely the farmers who grow our unhealthiest food with the highest demands for water and energy.  That costs needs to stop now..." (p. 119)

"...I say to you with deep conviction in my soul, let us do away, totally, irreversibly, and permanently, with leaf blowers.  What a foul, execrable piece of machinery tht is.  To state what should be obvious to all, no human being should make his living wearing an internal combustion engine strapped onto his back.  It simply makes no sense to burn fossil fuels for the purpose of blowing leaves from one yard to the next..." (p. 121)

"...It's an age-old battle.  Greed versus decency.  Ignorance versus reason.  Intolerance versus inclusion.  Fear versus love.  I have chosen my side.  You have Election Day to choose yours..." (p. 131) 

"The Speech" is full of amazing raw, clarifying, and indisputable truths that are so often obfuscated or ignored by mainstream and social media.  Rational, connecting, and important perspectives on important issues generally not shown on TV.

It's obvious that Glen has put a tremendous amount of soul searching and effort into this thought-provoking and unique novel.  Even as he's been behind the scenes, so to speak, in co-authoring the landmark books "The Mad Cowboy" and "No More Bull!" with Howard Lyman, as well as "Food Over Medicine" with Dr. Pam Popper, "Unprocessed," with Chef AJ, and more books than I can list here, he's obviously been absorbing a lot of ideas and knowledge, and in this wonderful novel, steps up to the plate and hits a solid home run.

I will most likely read this book a second time, which doesn't happen to often these days.  The amount of subtleties, deep concepts, the underlying messages, and ideas presented are well worth re-visiting.  Again, "The Speech" alone, is worth the price of admission.

Oh, and I'd be remiss in not mentioning that the meals eaten by Evan and his family mentioned in the novel are presented as actual recipes by Glen's wife in a second section of the book.  How clever!  Another example of the creativity, thoughtfulness, and desire to help us all learn, think, and eat better for ourselves and our planet.

Kudos, Glen!  I recommend this novel highly.  It is not so much a "vegan" novel as it is a true inspiring "call to arms" and a rallying cry for rational approaches to solving society's (and indeed, our planet's) most serious problems.  A thoughtful thought experiment that explores the question of what if a truly rational politician ran for the highest office in the land.

And the amusing digs at a few prominent media commenters are also great sport (Chris Matthews beware).  Glen's sense of humor shows throughout this speculative journey.  Buy a copy and enjoy the ride!

BTW: "Off the Reservation" would make a great movie (hint to any smart producer out there....).

----------------

The website:

www.offthereservationnovel.com

Book available in print & e-book at:

http://bit.ly/OffTheReservationNovel 

The author on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/GlenMerzerAuthor

Short video of author speaking about being veg:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD1NoGqL-q0

"The Devolution of Thanksgiving" - my lecture to Olgethorpe University

"My recent lecture. The History of Thanksgiving, fasting/prayer, corporate excess, the modern turkey, the kitchen as a biohazard laboratory, a no-fat plant-based diet, veganism, metabolic syndrome (heart disease, type II diabetes, alzheimer's disease, etc.), pesticides, gmos, advice for dealing with Thanksgiving, and a host of other related issues.  Roughly a 35 minute talk, and I cut loose a bit in the subsequent 30 minute Q&A.

This slideshow accompanying the audio (the lecture was given via Skype) was a quick'n'dirty assembly of related images to the topics I was discussing.  By no means comprehensive, they seem to augment the whole experience." 

Audio: Orson Welles Meets "Vegan World"

Dr. Don Wagner and I did an "Orson Welles War of the Worlds" in a radio interview last week, with the concept of "what if the world went vegan last night?" 

It was quite the improv experience. 1st few minutes, my book, the rest, a "thought experiment" in real-time on what the implications would be for the planet and global society.  Apparently, some listeners actually thought it had happened and went looking online social media for reference to the event!

It's about 45 minutes streamed or as an MP3 audio download:

Don and I had talked about the possibility the night before, and I said, "sure, you lead, I'll follow."  We were basing the idea upon a recent blog anniversary essay I wrote, "While You Were Sleeping..." 

A wild ride ensued.  We covered, among other things, farm animals, Global  Climate Change, water, companion animals and cancer, the entertainment industry, the health profession, the military-industrial complex, and more. Don has interviewed so many "biggies" the past several years (Barnard, Esselstyn, Tuttle, Goldhamer, Greger, etc.) and was quite knowledgeable and obviously "on fire" during the discussion.

In many ways the interactions encapsulated some distilled essences of many of those interviews and what he's learned in his efforts to "change the way we eat, and in effect, change the world." We riffed on a war between two worlds: plant-based and current.

My thanks to Dr. Don for a wonderful bit of time thinking about the future, and the fun we had.  It was a tightrope walk, and I'm honored to have been on the rope with him.  We all DO need to ponder about and plan for the future inevitability of most of the planet being whole foods plant-based.  It's gonna happen.

Check out his archives for so many marvelous and informative interviews (over 600 he's done, don't know how many are in the archives) with authors, nutritionists, scientists, and movers'n'shakers swimming upstream society's river of ignorance.  You won't be disappointed.

Digital Radio Interview with Me: "I Like Thinking"

About a year ago, I did my first interview in promoting my self-published book.  It was in Fairfax, VA, and I spent days preparing.  I showed up with a pizza ('natch), hobbling with a cane (from a leg injury) and in quite the physical pain.  It was a struggle, and the start of a new and longer experience.  The interviewer, Daniel Michael, had started an online radio station (Mainstreet Universe) and I was one of his first interviews, ever.

Last night, it was an extraordinary experience to interview with Dan after all this time.  We've both grown, gained knowledge, and I felt so relaxed and comfortable to be with the guy who helped initiate my marketing efforts a year ago.  It was so strange, but fitting, to have spent an hour interviewing Dr. Neal Barnard, in person, a few days earlier (for the Mad Cowboy Newsletter, out next month), then spend time with Dan and his team.

I've done a lot of interviews in the past year, but this one was special, and I think the results show a maturation process effected that almost scares me.  I appeared to be lucid, engaging, and polite.  Go figure.  Why I don't do dairy or oil, global water issues, growing food... it covers an interesting range of topics.  Probably the most "wide-range" interview I've done so far.

My final statements in this session struck me today as I reviewed the broadcast:  "I like being asked questions.  Questions make me think.  I like thinking."

That about sums it... I need a lot of rest, though.  Dr. Barnard was incredible and last night was a catharsis of sorts.  Lots to, well, "think" about.

Here's a link to the audio of the interview with Dan and his team.  I'm honored and delighted to have been there and recognize that growth is sometimes tasking, but it does occur, and not often in ways you can possibly anticipate.  As I noted in the interview, plants, when under stress, produce additional and extra nourishment that that aids tremendously in our own health when consumed.

Not unlike our own lives in a similar ongoing process.  Here's a link to the audio of our chat:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/daniel-michael/2013/08/07/main-street-universe-vegan-pizza

Sutton's Sushi: "Plant-Based Pseudo-Maki"

It's been fascinating. Ya writes the 1st vegan pizza cookbook, and people think you're a one-trick pony, that all you can do is make pizza!  Kids, I've been cooking and exploring veg'n food in the kitchen for over thirty years.  At last count, I own well over 400 veg'n cookbooks. Why, back when I was your age, we'd have to walk 60 miles in the snow to a local Korean grocery store to get blocks of yellow tofu (stored in a 5 gallon container in water). Note: only the snow and distance is exaggeration.

Anyway, I had four cookbook ideas in mind when I settled on "pizza" (which took me over 5 years to research and get the published 60 cheese-like sauce recipes the way I wanted them). One of the original book concepts, which I came very close to doing (may still) was "vegan sushi."  Was thinking about this recently when making a new batch (a play on "Futomaki" for the purists out there), using greens and asparagus from the garden.  Here's a photo of before and after.  Desu!

Click on image for slightly larger version.

Of course, Heart Healthy Pizza Vol. II remains a distinct possibility...  there's an abundance of pizza and cheese-like sauce recipes, let alone, other pizzeria goodies I didn't get to include in the 1st book... we'll see!

03/14/13: Mark's Interview w/ Dr. Don Wagner (stream/audio download)

"This is our second interview with Mark Sutton, author of Heart Healthy Pizza “Over 100 Plant-based Recipes for the Most Nutritious Pizza in the World”.  Dr. Don and Mark discuss many of the healthy alternatives to eliminating animal fats from your pizza and still making great tasting pizza.  The combination are almost endless. Treat yourself to a copy of this book direct from the author here."

How cool!  Dr. Don Wagner (who's interviewed close to 500 people over the past two years, on radio, such as Dr. Esselstyn, Dr. Goldhammer, Chef AJ, Dr. Fuhrman, Chloe, Dr. Pam Popper, Dr. Neal Barnard, Victoria Moran, Kathy Fisher, and the list is just too long to be complete here), asked me back for a another interview!  Am honored.  We had a great time, much more relaxed this time (we chatted for a long bit the night before).  As usual, Dr. Don asked some insightful questions and forced me to be serious for a few minutes...

They've built a new website (looks marvelous) and here's the page where you can listen to the audio stream or download the audio MP3:

http://www.drdonshow.info/2013/03/14/heart-healthy-pizza-cookbook-with-guest-mark-sutton/

Enjoy!  And, ahem, remember you can order autographed copies of the 1st Vegan Pizza Cookbook here.

 

Rare Photo of Species "Maximus Strongus Plantivus"

SUBJECT;  Mark Sutton

AGE: photo taken 10/27/2012 at first outdoor tabling for "Heart Healthy Pizza"

SPECIES: Maximus Strongus Plantivus

DIET/HABITS: 20 years low-fat vegetarian, 11 years vegan (6 years of that no-oil plant-strong). Prefers 30 to 40% or more raw foods (breakfast, lunch), minimizing usage of frozen, packaged, canned, and bagged food-like products and produce, with significant preference for fresh produce and freshly cooked whole grains.  Diversity in produce, grain, and legume consumption. Herbal teas, roots, and miso used medicinally.  B-12 supplement periodically as part of multi-vitamin supplement.  Weakness: occasional no-fat low-sodium meat analog intake and sipping green tea.  Results: 2 colds in 31 years.

ACHIEVEMENTS (of note): wrote first plant-strong plant-based vegan pizza cookbook.  Advanced product concepts and information system theory research at Texas Instruments.  Worked with 2 Nobel Prize Winners, on two NASA Earth Satellite Missions, the White House, and 12 Federal Agencies on global climate change visualizations and public outreach (cover of TIME magazine, published in Newsweek, Scientific American, Science, etc., and videos broadcast internationally, multimedia consultant), Recipes editor/manager for "No More Bull!", by Howard Lyman. Editor of the Mad Cowboy e-Newsletter, and producer/editor/developer for several DVD & web-based productions. Has been a professional organic farmer, conference head photographer, web developer, pizza cook, experimental curriculum writer/designer, and vegan blogging for 7 years.

GOALS: actively promote, consult for, help with, provide information on, and encourage a no-added oil plant-based planet-sound dietary lifestyle for all human age groups through personal example, writings, speaking engagements, book promotion, and interpersonal interactions with anyone remotely interested.

FAVORITE QUOTE(s): "No Oil!" Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn and "As is Above, is Below" (various spiritual sources).

College Exam #2: Heart Healthy Pizza Gets Another "A"

As noted in a previous post, I've always felt that one of the Ultimate Tests of a good pizza (plant-based, plant-strong, or not) is what College Students think of it. Having accomplished their 1st test, the infamous (and plant-strong) College Greens graciously sacrificed their intensive late-night weekly Saturday Night Study Period and Angry Bird Marathon (kidding... a fowl joke), to try another recipe from my book, "Heart Healthy Pizza."

A couple of days ago, via e-mail at the Engine2Extra Online Community, the results came in, with photos as well!  Here's what Tara had to say (unedited, and with her permission):

--------------

"WE MADE ANOTHER PIZZA THIS WEEKEND!!!! And once again... SUCCESS!!!!

This time, we made the whole wheat black bean crust with the quick italian tomato sauce. We loaded the pizza with spring mix greens, red cabbage, orange bell pepper, portobello mushrooms, and green peas. Then we topped it off with tofu and lemon sauce.

Yum yum yum YUM!!!! A deliciously delightful Saturday night treat :)  

We took pictures this time!! [Note: click on photo for larger version]

College Greens Photo of Pizza Before Topping Sauce

   

Just showing the veggie-licious toppings before we added the un-cheese sauce :)

College Greens Pizza w/ Tofu Lemon Topping

Fully prepared and cooked!!! READY TO EAT! yaaaaaaaaay :D

College Greens Pizza After Being Visciously Assaulted

Forty minutes later....

I don't know whether you saw or not, but Craig took a slice with him as his lunch the next day when he went hiking at Rickett's Glen. His friend took a picture of the half-eaten slice of pizza over the waterfall and I tagged you in the picture on facebook :)

Anyways, it was another weekend of plant-strong pizza yumfest!!! Thanks SO MUCH for letting us play around with this book, it's been so much fun and so deliciously scrumptious :) We plan to make at least one more pizza before doing the full review. But I don't think you have anything to worry about. We're already sold :)

Hugs, happies, healthies,

  Tara :)" 

-----------

So cool!  I did tell them that plant-strong people are advised by the Engine2 Diet Team, and rightly so, to use tofu sparingly and as a treat as it's high in fat (and being processed, lacks fiber).  Regardless, I was intrigued by the toppings the students chose. Am very proud of their ingenuity and continued dedicated efforts to eat a healthy no-added oil plant-based diet. They are setting a high bar, but still taking the time to share the results (and their advice) with others.  Here's some of their articles.

After feeling a tad cantankerous with a recent birthday, it's refreshing to see such well-placed optimism, creativity, and joie de vivre!

Namaste... Mark

 

Heart Healthy Pizza Passes 1st College Exam!

What is the ultimate test of a good vegan pizza?

"The South American" Sweet potato, quinoa, corn "cheese-like" topping, collards, tomato slices, + Trader Joe's Mix: chopped broccoli, carrots, green cabbage, red cabbage, jicama, green bell pepper, radish, celery.

I've often wondered about this serious and sociologically earth-shattering issue while spending close to six years researching alternatives to the fatty, saturated dairy and non-dairy cheeses used with abandon on what could be a very nutritious meal, but in the United States has degenerated into a savage nutritional orgy of calories, animal flesh, fat, salt, and general dietary undesirables promoting a biological descent into the ravages of cardiovascular disease, obesity, and Type II diabetes... and that's just the watered down summary of what I think (trust me, it's not a pretty picture inside)... moving on...

Still, the Big Questions kept arising during my research: would a meat or dairy-eater enjoy one of my vegan pizzas?  Would someone of native Italian descent relish one of my recipes?  What would Oprah think?

But the test that had me worried the most, The Ultimate Eval (pun intended) that had me wake up in a cold sweat at night, trembling with anxiety in the wee hours of the morning as I drifted, ghost-like through my internal house of fears was:  college students.  That unique and feral species of energetic quasi-humans destined to eventually guide us into assisted living and run the planet.  What would THEY think?

Even now, I can remember the anxiety of wondering whether or not one of my heart-healthy plant-based pizzas could pass an examination by carnivorous and/or plant-strong college students, well known for their highly discriminate palettes (unless the food is free or cheap or is food).  Would it pass muster?  Would they show up at my door, pelting me with left-over globs of "cheese-like" sauce, chanting "Daiya! Daiya!?"  Would a big red "F" replete with a dripping font, be plastered across my book's website, and an animated giff show up of Guy Fawke's smiling face, taunting me? Laughing?

Well, I'm proud to say that the first test results are in.  Below I've posted, with permission, a letter I received from the newly and growingly infamous "College Greens." 

The College Greens (Ann Esselstyn in red) from "Engine2Extra.com"

This idealistic group of plant-strong college students have vowed to "get healthy while their warranty is still valid" through following the recommendations of Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, Rip Esselstyn, and the whole Engine2 Diet team:  a no-added oil, plant-based diet.

 

A few weeks ago, intrigued by what I read about them (as part of the fantastic Engine2 Extra online community) and their dedicated efforts to encourage other college students everywhere to eat a healthy plant-based diet.  I tempted fate, rolled the Dice of the Gods, threw RDA's of salt over my left shoulder, and sent them a copy of my cookbook.  Part of me giggled, part of me was wondering "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"  

Patiently I waited, day pages from printed calendars flying in front of me like in an old black'n'white cartoon (just got to get that window fixed)... then, the word came back, October 4th, 2012 A.D.  The first test results were in.  Shaking and stirred, I opened the e-mail.  And... 

"Hi Mark!!

Craig and I (Tara) did end up making a pizza last weekend for the party. And it was a HUGE hit!!!! We made the oat crust, with raw tomato sauce, then onions, mushrooms, spinach, and artichokes, and topped with the cannellini bean, oregano, and walnut sauce! :) Herbies and Omnivores alike were impressed :) We had a number of different people ask about the recipe, and we told them about your awesome book!!! 

One critique that we got, as cooks, was to make the pizza crust thinner. It wasn't overly thick, but a couple of people mentioned that they would have preferred a crispier crust. I don't know whether these crust recipes have the potential to be crispy or not, but we will experiment with crust thickness in our next attempt :)

I'm not sure when the next pizza-making extravaganza will occur, but we will keep you posted!!! :)

And as for your black halloween pizza... how about olives and carrots? :)

Wishing we had more pizza leftovers,

Tara, -The College Greens"

That's just so [expletive deleted] cool! Survived mid-terms. Hot [short series of very disturbing juvenile expletives deleted].  Of serious note, too, is that the C.G.'s  are planning to run some more tests and do their own review of the book to be published online (I did tell them that reducing the water in the gluten-free oat crust might enable it to be "rolled" thinner (between wax paper sheets, but in general, getting a thin crust with some GF recipes isn't easy). Experimentation is always advised.

But, so far, so good.  Now onto the Finals!  Maybe I can finally sleep again... for awhile...  (huh? what's this "pizza leftover" concept they speak of?"... I keep wondering and mumbling incessantly in the wee hours of the morning...).

Who ARE these people, you ask??  Find out more below:

ABOUT THE COLLEGE GREENS • ARTICLES BY THE COLLEGE GREENS

The Experimental G-BOMBS V-12 Pizza Prototype

A buzzer sounds at the heavily secured massive steel door.

"What's the pass-phrase?" asks the Head Chef in gruff tones.

"Anthony Bourdain Eats Tofu," came the quick response from the other side of the door. A moment of silence before the door slowly opens, and Dr. S. quickly takes his seat.  Surrounding the Conference Room table are several austere and serious looking men and women in lab coats with a picture of a pizza shaped like a heart sewn on the front of each jacket.

"You're late, S." growls HC from the table's power seat.

"Sorry, sir," came the response, "An emergency in in the Iron Chef kitchen."

"So I've heard... I take it matters are under control?"

"Er, yes sir.  Dr. Psymon has been dismissed, per your orders."

"Nasty business, S.  Dr. Psymon knows the rules.  No oil.  I don't care if he's also on "The Chew."  It's no excuse.  People's health is at stake.  Chef Battleitaly has obviously been a bad influence on him."

"Undoubtedly, sir."

"Alright, enough of the pleasantries, S.  Report!"

The lights dim, a very large flat screen rises up from the far end of the table, the heart-shaped logo upper center on the screen pulsing.  Dr. S. hands dart quickly dart over his iPizza pad.  The monitor comes alive with light and color.  "I'm pleased to say, sir, that we've had a major breakthrough on Project Super Heart Healthy Pizza.  This is a photo collage of the Super Secret Experimental V-12 Pizza Prototype."

©2102 by Mark Sutton, topping sauce recipe from "Heart Healthy Pizza." Click to see larger image.

There are gasps from around the room. The chefs whisper excitedly to each other in panic, and one yells out:  "it's not possible! That's... that is... you've... OH MY GOD!"

"Quiet down everyone," demands HC, standing up and leaning across the table forcefully. "S., you can't be serious.  What you're showing us can't be done.  It breaks the dish of every foundational theory we've developed in over 100 years of covert culinary research.  How many?  What on Earth did you do, man?"

"Well, ah...."

"Dammitt, S., I'm a Food Physicist and Head Chef, not a Psychic.  In the Name of T. Colin Campbell, tell us, HOW MANY?"

"12, sir."

"TWELVE!!" exclaims HC, leaning back in his chair.  Pandemonium breaks out around the table, people are yelling and screaming at each other, pounding the table.  "But 11 was considered the highest level?" "It violates the Laws of Nature." "What if the New York Times Food Critic finds out?" "Is it stable, are we in danger?" "It can't be, he's lying."

Dr. S. stands up, and waves his right arm theatrically.  "Ladies and gentlemen, it IS possible."  The Team Members quiet down.  "Yes, this is a heart healthy pizza with twelve distinct vegetables as added ingredients."

"But, but... why, S., why? Why risk the potential structural collapse in the oven? We know that 11 is as high as you can go before the entire internal stability of the pizza resolves as an unedible avalanche of disconnected veggies, no matter how much topping sauce is used as an adherent agent.  Complete culinary collapse at the Julia Child Curve with a corresponding Emeril Explosion making "bam" look like "pop"."

S. chuckled. "I used to think this too, my friends.  I used to believe in that limitation. However, I had to think out of the pizza box. There had to be a way, a safe way, to safely exceed these limits.  I surmised that the key problem was the size of the individual veggies and where they were co-located in the PPCS, the Physical Pizza Collective Structure."

"Incredible... IF it works" says HC, his voice heavy with admiration yet caution, "I take it that you figured out that you could reduce the size of the Barnardian Vegetable Components and through a careful Morimotto Scatter Algorithm, avoid overloading the Ozian weight/pressure ratios of crust and sauce."

"Exactly, sir.  I wanted to increase the McDougall Ratio of vegetables to bite, while maintaining a reasonable Alton Brownian Mass to Gravity Failure Comparitive."

"Honor us, Dr., please describe to us your prototype."

"Delighted to, sir."  S. walks around the side of the table with his laser pointer.

"We start with a basic pizza crust base.  I was going to initiate construction with a gluten-free crust, but felt I'd reduce the unknown variables for this round to that which was a bit more clear in terms of loading stress capabilities.  A whole wheat crust is topped with chopped tender kale, followed by thinly sliced tomatoes, and sprinkled with freshly diced basil."

The young intern at the back of the room smiled and whispered loudly, "You had me at kale."  There were quiet giggles around the room.  "Hush up," admonished HC.

S. continued: "at this point, I added diced mushrooms as kind of shock absorbers to the next layer with a sprinkle of garlic powder and red pepper chili flakes.  I like it spicy, " he winked at the intern, "...then, using a Trader Joe's mixture of chopped vegetables..."

"Trader Joe's?" queried HC.

"Yes sir.  Due to time and budget constraints (how often do I have so many raw vegetables in the refrigerators?) I used Trader Joe's 8 Raw Chopped Vegetables, available for under $3 at most stores.  They were scattered and placed lightly across the pizza with enough space between individual veggies to allow for eventual topping sauce penetration. I also spread the carrots and purple cabbage bits around a bit to provide a pleasing visual appearance."

"Clever, S.  And yet you still stayed on budget."

"Yes sir... now, at this point I took a fundamental risk.  Onions or no onions?  I decided to go for it.  Slices of onions were draped on top of the lightly scattered veggies."

There was appreciative sounds of agreement and admiration from around the table.

"Of course, the decision of what type of cheese-like topping sauce to use was difficult.  I wanted not only good texture and taste, but one that would really kick the nutritional quality of the pizza into a Fuhrman Zone intersection with the Esselstyn No-Oil Barrier."

Gasps from around the room.

"Yes, my skeptical friends, a no-added oil Fuhrman G-BOMBS* without berries (which you could easily have in a dressing on a side salad).  To make this work, I went with a "Millet, White Kidney Beans, Sunflower Seeds, Sirarcha Sauce" topping, sprinkled with ground pepper. You can see the final results on the screen."

"Count, count, count!" came the collective cry from the other Chefs.  "Count, count, count!"

"Okay, here we go: (1) kale, (2) tomatoes, (3) mushrooms, (4) celery, (5) carrots, (6) jicama, (7) green cabbage, (8) purple cabbage, (9) green peppers, (10) radish, and (11) broccoli."

"Twelve, twelve, twelve..." came the demand from the screaming Chefs, some standing on the table, others writhing on the conference room floor.

"And, to complete our V-12 Prototype Pizza..." (pausing for effect), "ONIONS!!"  S. smiled proudly, while around him the Chefs were throwing their iDevices into the air, slapping themselves on their backs, hugging, and wiping the tears flowing from their eyes.  It was an historic moment, and even HC's own eye was misty with the realization of what had been shown here today.

"Praise Lyman! This is a momentous, S. You've done us proud.  Generations will remember this event and be healthier as a result.  Now, my good friends, time to celebrate.  I'll order in a vegan lunch for all of us from "The Millenium Restaurant", my treat."

"But sir," notes the young intern, "that's across the country in San Francisco."

"No problem, m'dear," chuckled HC, "I have our Trans-Orbital on standby."

As the Team Members exited the conference room, each shaking S.'s hand before leaving, they knew inside that the battle for healthy diets wasn't over, but yet that a major victory had been achieved.  New challenges awaited them, and their dedicated efforts to help people eat better food would continue unabated.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

1) *“G-BOMBS” is an acronym you can use to remember the most nutrient-dense, health-promoting foods on the planet. These are the foods you should eat every day, and they should make up a significant proportion of your diet — these foods are extremely effective at preventing chronic disease and promoting health and longevity." [Source]

2) the original topping sauce recipe, from my cookbook, HEART HEALTHY PIZZA, used cashews.  1/3 cup sunflower seeds were substituted for the cashews to give the sauce a lighter fluffiness and to lower the fat content a bit.  Easily enough sauce was made for both the V-12, and who knows? Maybe a V-13...