I thought it might be fun to put together a quick ad hoc list of some of the "survival tips" that have served me well when faced with attending a Thanksgiving Dinner with carnivorous family and/or friends. I take no responsibility as to whether these will or will not work for anyone in particular as they are based upon my own experiences. Use them wisely...
1. BRING VEGAN FOOD: often people will tell you it's not necessary to bring anything, but I've found it's best to ignore that advice and bring one, preferable at least two vegan dishes. It's best (and safest) to have made them once before, unless you are very skilled in the kitchen. I think it's rare that anyone would turn you away at the front door for bringing food! Find out if you can bring a big salad (with fresh veggies and a fine no-fat dressing). Find out if there's something you can bring veganized. If nothing else, you'll look less conspicuous with a full plate than one with some crudite sans dressing and limp greens. Don't have a recipe? Use the GOOGLE, Luke.
2. BRING FOOD THAT DOESN'T ATTEMPT TO MIMIC MEAT: with the possible exception of "Gimme Lean Sausage" for making a stuffing (it's really close to that ground up dead spiced pig taste and texture), I've found that bringing meat analogues (particularly that odious and overpriced "Tofurkey") invites people to miss the point. They focus on contrasting the "fake" meat with the real, instead of relishing the intermix of fresh vegetables, fruits, legumes, and grains. If fellow guests are a bit more veg'n friendly than most, maybe seitan or tofu done right (gravy counts), but think that out carefully. I tend to think that incorporated IN a dish rather than as "steaks" or the like is more likely to be accepted. Mom couldn't handle the TVP chunks in an entree I brought once (but then, I pointed them out to her in advance... bad move). Try to define yourself, if asked, by the incredible variety of nature's bounty that you will eat rather than that which you won't.
3. BRING A CROCKPOT DISH: soup, entree, or better yet, dessert (if you've not already made something). The beauty of the crockpot is that it's easy to prepare something, travels well, and in case the oven and burners are already used up in your target location, you can always find a plug (I usually bring a power strip or extension cord), and serve FROM the crockpot. Winter Squash Bisque, Tofu/Artichoke Spread ("No-Cheese Cookbook," Stepaniak), Apple Brown Betty, Fruit Cobbler --- examples of very easy and effective crockpot foods.
4. BRING SUBTLETY: resist the temptation to proudly proclaim that the food you bring is "no-added fat vegan." They will probably already know you are vegan, and it's more fun when sometimes, after sampling your wares, they say, astonished: "Hey! This is good... is this vegan?" I'm more inclined to live with "added fat vegan food" at a holiday gathering if someone has been thoughtful enough to at least make something vegan. Let's face it: to many vegan is radical, a "no added fat" vegan could easily cause conceptual brain seizures. Now, if I had heart disease or diabetes, I would let the main host know in advance, and have a short concise explanation as to why I won't eat "added fat" vegan ready to use when asked. It's also usually pretty obvious as to what has dairy in it, but eggs are a bit more devious when it comes to bread. I tend to go situation dependent: if things are hectic, I'll either skip the debatable food product or have a very small helping. If things are a bit more laid back, I would have already asked, in the kitchen, what's vegan and what's not (esp. if chicken broth is used invisibly). Doing this at the dinner table can easily (and rightly so) be seen as rude and draws the wrong kind of attention.
5. BRING BREAD: if you've mastered making bread, especially with a bread machine, time a 2 lb. loaf to finish close to when you leave (if by car). People ALWAYS like homemade whole grain bread (I often make a no-added fat spread like hummus or something more holidayish to facilitate slathering onto bread slices). Vegan cookies are also a winner.
6. BRING A BEVERAGE: alcoholic or not, it's always a sign of good etiquette. Also: I always have a few caffeine and no-caffeine herbal teas in my computer bag, jacket, or pocket. It's rare that you can't get hot water! Vegan egg nog in a crockpot is a show-stopper, made easier these days with Silk Soy Egg Nog (and recipes for making it from scratch on the Web).
7. BRING SOME PREPARED EXPLANATIONS & WEBSITE ADDRESSES: memorize a short 30 second and longer 2 minute explanation, that's not insulting or derogatory, as to why you are vegan. Voice the first ONLY if/when asked "why are you vegan?" As Howard Lyman, aka, The Mad Cowboy" puts it: that's your 30 second window of opportunity when they are paying attention. Sometimes family members or friends will express interest in learning more about your diet. In my case, I might write down my soulveggie blog, www.fatfreevegan.com, www.goveg.com, www.madcowboy.com, www.pcrm.org, and www.vegblogs.com, as starting points for learning "why" and "how."
8. BRING A SENSE OF HUMOR: preferably self-deprecating... if teased, laugh... use that disarming smile... if the situation is particularly mellow, you might risk teasing back, but BE CAREFUL. Often it's okay to tease the vegans, but not the reverse (people tend to rationalize, feel defensive, or guilty). During one Thanksgiving my father was confused that I was drinking wine during dinner. I lightened the moment by saying, "whoops... I better go call the Vegan Guru and double-check!" Then I mentioned something about great vegan margaritas. I've also made jokes about "hunting down" wild vegetables, the danger of dealing with a rabid block of tofu in a soybean field, and that I'm not completely vegan: do you realize how many bacteria are dying in my gut as we speak?
9. BRING UNDERSTANDING, A POLITE ATTITUDE, & (if necessary) SILENCE: trying to convert carnivores to veganism at Thanksgiving is like trying to talk people into joining AA at a beer or wine-tasting party --- akin to "spitting in the wind" and just torques people for no justifiable reason. Exclaiming "ewwww, how gross" loudly when being offered a drumstick isn't necessary or particularly useful. The same probably holds true for throwing tomato sauce or catsup on Great-Grandma Pearl's mink sweater or yelling out: "I can't believe you all are eating slabs of a giant dead mutant bird's corpse with it's organs minced and sauteed delicately in gravy as a topping!" Bonus tip: an in depth discussion of pus cell counts in milk and cheese might get you shot by a blunderbuss or tossed out into the snow.
10. BRING COMPASSION & LOVE: these are family and/or friends. This is a festive gathering, not a lecture on animal rights, diet and heart disease, or environmental degradation. Focus on the good in the people there and not what they eat or what they wear. Focus on setting and being an example. Like it or not, you will be seen as representative of vegans everywhere, and if you misbehave, unfortunately (if not unfairly), it reflects on all of us. I've converted more people to veg'nism by setting an example than by proselytizing, and I suspect its more effective in the long term (and takes less emotional energy). A loving, thankful, thoughtful, understanding, giving, and happy vegan will accomplish more than an arrogant sanctimonious obnoxious know-it-all malcontent.
Having been both, I prefer the former. That's the "me" I want remembered. Here's my "Thanksgiving 2005" Post where I think I really started to catch-on to the best way to approach these events. Enjoy.
...and a "Happy Vegan Holidaze" to all! Mark
@2008 by Mark Sutton... if used elsewhere, please credit me and my blog. Thanks!